Muslim Teen

Q: How is an American teen girl different from an Muslim teen girl?
A An American teen girl gets stoned before she has sex.

Hippie Concoction

With a screech of brakes, an ambulance pulls up at the local casualty ward and a hippie is wheeled out on a gurney. The doctor questions his long-haired colleagues. ''So what was he doing then?'' asks the physician. ''Acid? Cannabis?'' ''Sort of,'' replies one of the hippies, nervously thumbing his caftan. ''But we ran out of gear, so I skinned up a homemade spliff.'' ''And what was in that?'' asks the doctor. ''Um, I kind of raided my girlfriend's spice rack.'' says the hippie. ''There was a bit of cumin, some turmeric and a little paprika.'' ''Well, that explains it,'' the doctor replies, looking at them gravely. ''He is in a Korma.''

Bad Thoughts

A couple were celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary at their home. Everyone was having a great time except for the wife who sat off in a corner with a tear in her eye. The family attorney came over to her and asked what was wrong. The wife told him, "Remember when we first got married and I told you that I couldn't stand him after about a month into the marriage? I really hated him at the time." "Yeah, I remember those trying times." replied the attorney. "I absolutely positively hated him. I even had bad thoughts of killing him, remember?" "Yes, I do." "But you kept telling me to get rid of those thoughts. You said that I would get up to thirty years for such a crime." "That was a long time ago though. Why are you so sad now?" "Because...I could have been a free woman by now!"