Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

Murder

I saw a murder today
It was awesome. There must have been 50 crows in it.

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes)
Anonymous

Death By Stabbing

A woman in her 90's is distraught after the death of her warm, caring, faithful husband of seventy years. She can't live without him and decides that the best way to do herself in is to stab herself in her pitifully broken heart. Still, she doesn't want to linger so she calls a doctor to find out exactly where the heart is. He tells her to put her first two fingers together, hold them horizontally and place the tip of the first finger just below her left nipple. The heart, he says, is immediately below the first knuckle on her second finger. Later that day, the doctor is called to the emergency room to put fourteen stitches in the elderly woman's left thigh.

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Suicide Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes) , Old Age Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Sick Dog

A man takes his sick dog to the vet. The vet lifts the dog onto the the operating table, looks down and says, "Say ahhh!" The man looks at the vet and says, "The dog can't speak. "The vet says to the man, "I was talking to YOU. The dog's dead!!"

Categories: Animal Jokes (Dog Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Veterinarian Jokes ) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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