Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

Losing My Wife's Love

"I'm worried that I'm losing my wife's love," the husband told the counselor. "Has she started to neglect you?" "Not at all," the dejected man replied. "She meets me at the door with a cold drink and a warm kiss. My shirts are always ironed, she's a great cook, the house is always neat, and she keeps the kids out of my hair. She even lets me choose the television shows we watch." "So what's the problem?" "Maybe I'm just being too sensitive," the husband ventured, but at night, when she thinks I'm sleeping, she puts her lips close to my ear and whispers, 'Die! Die, you son of a bitch!'"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Bin Laden V Aladdin

Q: What's the difference between Bin Laden and Aladdin?
A: Aladdin had 3 wishes and bin Laden only had 1 - a death wish.

Anonymous

Just Before I Die

Showing his friend around his his home, Jennings pointed out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage. "The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got just to see how much it's all worth." "Well," his friend replies, "since you couldn't possibly know the day before you were going to die, you'll never be able to sell!" "And that's where you're wrong," the man smiled. "If I sell it, my wife would kill me!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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