RIP Mom

My girlfriend throws up whenever she thinks about her dead mother.
I reckon it's mourning sickness

Fourth Marriage

An eighty year old woman was getting married for the fourth time. A newspaper was interviewing her about her previous marriages. She said she got married the first time when she was twenty to a banker. Then, in her forties she married a three ring circus leader. Then she married a preacher. And now she's marring a funeral home director.  The lady replied, when I look back at my previous marriages, I see one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.

Brown and Bloody

Q: What is brown, bloody and lying in a ditch?
A: A brunette who told too many dumb blonde jokes.