Tombstone Epitaph V

Tombstone Epitaph in Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake.

Anything You Need?

Trying to contact her dead husband, Edna goes to a psychic who tells her that her husband is fine and looking forward to their reunion. “Is there anything he needs?” asks Edna. The psychic replies, “He says he’d love a pack of cigarettes.” “Oh,” says Edna. “And did he say where I should try to send them?” “No,” replies the psychic. “But then again, he didn’t ask for any matches.”

Funeral

A mother driving her two young boys to a funeral, she tried to prepare them by talking about burial and what we believe happens after death. The boys behaved well during the service. At the grave site she discovered her explanations weren't as thorough as she'd thought. In a loud voice, her four-year-old asked, "Mom?" "Yes?" "What's in the box?"