OJ Simpson in West Virginia?

Q: Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
A: Everyone has the same DNA.

Top Things You Should Not Say At A Funeral

• Geez, what died in here?
• She looks natural but those shoes do not go with that dress.
• Nice service... where's the keg?
• When did he die... really... hey Bob, you won the pool!!!
• Hey, we're with the Publisher Clearing House Prize Patrol and we're looking for... oh, never mind.
• Don't look now Fred but you and the deceased have the exact same suit on.
• You know they touched that body up cause that shark has one of them legs.
• Not to cause panic or anything but something is leaking out of that casket.

Daddy, When Will I Get One?

A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower. It's at that moment she spots his penis. Pointing at it she says..... "Daddy, daddy, when will I get one of those?" The dad looks at the little girl, looks out the door, looks back at the little girl and winks.... "When your mommy goes to the mall!"