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Dark Humor Jokes
Girlfriends
There was a guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine. She very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started working there. Her name was Clearly, and she was absolutely gorgeous. He began to like her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too.
But, he was a loyal man and he wouldn't get involved with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine. He decided that there was nothing for him to do but to break up with Lorraine and date the new girl. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
One day as they were walking along the river bank, Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned. The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing... "I can see Clearly now Lorraine is gone..."
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Drowning Lawyer
Q: How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water!
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Shots Fired
Two police officers responding to a domestic disturbance with shots fired arrive on scene. After discovering the wife had shot her husband for walking across her freshly mopped floor, they called their sergeant for advice on his cell phone.
"Hello Sarge.” "Yes.”
"It looks like we have a homicide here. “
"What happened?”
"A woman shot her husband for walking on the wet floor she had just mopped.”
"Have you placed her under arrest?”
"No sir. The floor is still wet."
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