Artificial Heart

Q: What do you give a man with an artificial heart?
A:  About one year.

Shark Week - Dandruff

Q: How did they know the shark attack victim had dandruff?
A: They found his head and shoulders on the beach.

A Wise Man

A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport. "These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained. "These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others. "The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior. After hearing enough from his Senior buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said... "Quit your dang complaining and just be thankful we're still on the right side of the grass!"