Dark Humor Jokes

If you love to laugh at the jokes that shock and disgust most people, then you have found your Graceland! ROFL with these deplorable wise cracks about death, incest, domestic violence and more!

Good Choice!

There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander. They were all going to be executed. The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that night that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die. The choices were:  lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging. The American was afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he chose the electric chair.  He sat in the chair and when they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happened a second time that he could go free. They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free. The Torontonian was also afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair.  Once again, the chair didn't work and he was free. Next it was the Newfies turn. He said, "I'm afraid of needles and the electric chair won't work so I pick hanging."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Whiskey and MJ

Q: What does a good whiskey have in common with Michael Jackson?
A: It's also a seven-year-old liquor.

Anonymous

The Insane Conductor

A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where his house used to be. The chief of police comes over to him and tells him, "While you were out, the conductor came to your house, killed your family, and burned the house down."
The violist replied, "You're kidding! The conductor came to my house?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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