Perfect Unison

Q: How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A: Shoot one.

Gross Grosser Grossest II

Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: Ten babies in one mail box.
Q: What's grosser than that?
A: One baby in ten mailboxes.
Q  What's grosser than that?
A: Biting into a pickle and finding a vein.
Q: What's grosser than that?
A: A cheerleader doing a split and sticking to the floor.
Q: What's grosser than that?
A: A girl thinking she has crabs only to find it's fruit flies because her cherry rotted.

The Insane Conductor

A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where his house used to be. The chief of police comes over to him and tells him, "While you were out, the conductor came to your house, killed your family, and burned the house down."
The violist replied, "You're kidding! The conductor came to my house?"