Bar Jokes - Walks Into a Bar

Troubles on the Farm

Farmer John had just walked into the local watering hole, when who should he see, but his old friend Chris the tractor salesman sitting up at the bar. Chris looked so down and dejected, that John just had to go up and say something to him. "Say, Chris, how ya doing? How's the tractor selling business these days?" If Chris had looked sad before, at the mention of tractor sales, his face sank even more, and a tear came to his eye. "John," he said, shaking his head, "I don't know what it is. I can't sell a tractor these days to save my life. I'll tell you, I just gotta sell one tractor and soon, or else I'll lose that dealership for good." "Well," John said, taking the bar stool next to him, "If you think you got it bad, I got it worse. Now you listen to this...." "I went out to the barn the other morning to milk Bessy. That ol' cow gets more ornery as the years go by. Anyway, no sooner did I sit down on the milking stool and get to work, but ol' Bes starts a slappin' me with her tail. After a minute or so, I got fed up with it, so I threw a rope up over the rafters, and tied ol' Bessy's tail to the rafters. Then I got back to work." "I didn't even get two squirts into the bucket, when Bes gives me a kick. Knocked me clean off the stool! Boy, did that upset me! So I get me another rope an' tie Bessy's right hind leg to the side of the milking stall, and get a started trying to milk her again." "Well by this time, Bessy's about livid, and she doesn't want any part of it, so she let's me have it with her other hind leg. I wasn't about to give in to this ol' cow, so I got me yet another piece of rope and tied up Bessy's left leg to the other side of the stall." Just then John paused to take a sip his beer. Chris, distracted for a moment from his own troubles, asked John, "Well, did you finally get to milk her?" "Well, yes and no, Chris. But I'll tell ya what... If you can convince my wife that I was out there to MILK that cow, I'll BUY a tractor from ya....!"

Categories: Animal Jokes (Cow Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Animal in Bar Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Profession Jokes (Farmer Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Anything But

A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks the seal, "What's your pleasure?" The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."

Categories: Animal Jokes , Bar Jokes (Animal in Bar Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Dark Humor Jokes , Word Play Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Bear In A Bar

A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender, "I'll have a pint of beer and a .............................. packet of peanuts."

The bartender said, "Why the big paws?"

Categories: Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Bar Jokes (Animal in Bar Jokes) , Animal Jokes , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Riddles
Anonymous
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