Circus Horse

A horse walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, scotch on the rocks please!" The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says, "Did.. did you just talk?" "Yes I did, why?" "It's just incredible! I've never seen a talking horse! You know, you should really go talk to the local circus, they would LOVE to have someone with your skills!"
The horse replied "Why? Are they short on electricians?"

Serving Bears at Bars

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars." The bear replies, "If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there." The bartender says, "Go ahead." So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears on drugs." "What do mean," asks the bear. "I'm not on drugs." "Yes, you are, that was the bar bitch you ate."

Taco Bell Dogs

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a great looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me!"  So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."