Bar Jokes

Anything But

A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks the seal, "What's your pleasure?" The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."

Categories: Animal Jokes , Bar Jokes (Animal in Bar Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Dark Humor Jokes , Word Play Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Bear In A Bar

A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender, "I'll have a pint of beer and a .............................. packet of peanuts."

The bartender said, "Why the big paws?"

Categories: Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Bar Jokes (Animal in Bar Jokes) , Animal Jokes , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Riddles
Anonymous

A Drunk Scottsman

There was a Scotsman and he was too drunk to walk home from the bar. He decides to lay down a park bench and sleep. Tomorrow he would walk home after he was sober. In the morning two little girls are walking by to go to school when they see he is wearing his kilt. One of the little girls get curious and decide to lift up his kilt. They see he's not wearing anything under his kilt so one of the little girls takes a blue ribbon out of her hair and ties it around his thing in a nice little bow. They put his kilt back down and go to school. A little while after the man wakes up and natures calling. He finds the nearest bush, lifts up his kilt and looks down. He says in his Sottish accent, "I don't know where ya been but ya won first prize."

Categories: Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Hangover Jokes) , Sex Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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