Need to Stop Meeting Like This

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a bar is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronized with a complete stranger.

Smart Dog

A man walks into a bar. After buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. After watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers, "Wow, that's a really smart dog!" The player whispers backs, "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"

Harambe at MadTree

Harambe and a friend walk into the taproom at MadTree Brewing in Cincinnati. After quite a few drinks, Harambe asks for a final mug of Happy Amber, his favorite brew. His friend says, "Dude, you've had too much today. Just get some ice to suck on for a while until we leave." Harambe nods his agreement, and the bartender says, "So, just ice?"
His friend says, "Yep, just ice for Harambe."