Familiar Feel

Two old friends who love to push each other's buttons are in a bar, drinking. One reaches over and feels the other's bald head. "Good God! This feels just like my wife's ass!" The man whose head it is runs his hand over it, too.
"So it does! So it does!"

Yo Mama - Richard Simmons

Yo mama so fat that even Richard Simmons makes fun of her!

When Two Equals Five

One of the life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.