Really Big Dog Out...

Q: What do you get if you take a really big dog out for a walk?
A: A Great Dane out!

Jesus Gonna Get You

A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."

Dog's Letters To God

• Dear God, Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, The colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle?
• Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?
• Dear God, When we get to heaven can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
• Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
• Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Schnauzer across the street.
• Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?