Endangered Species

One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle, killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly a couple of park rangers happened to find him at that moment and arrested him for killing an endangered species. At court, he plead innocent to the charges against him claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judges closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it. What did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl."

Escaping From A Lion

Two guys in a jungle come around a corner and meet a lion head-on pawing the ground. One guy, ever so carefully reaches into his knapsack and slowly takes out a set of Nike running shoes, never once breaking eye contact with the lion. The 2nd guy hisses: "What are you doing, you can't out run the lion" 1st guy says: "No, but all I have to do is outrun you"!

Catch A Squirrel

Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!