Three Pigs in a Bar

There were three little pigs. The first pig went to a bar, ordered a drink, gulped it down, went to the bathroom, and then left. The second pig went to the same bar, ordered a drink, gulped it down, went to the bathroom, and then left. The third pig went to the same bar, ordered a drink, gulped it down, and was just going to leave when the bartender asked if he was going to the bathroom.  The third little pig replied, “No, I’m the little pig that goes weee weee weee all the way home.”

Smitty the Parrot's Birthday

Harry says to his pet parrot Smitty, "What do you want for your birthday?"
Smitty says, "I want to get laid."
So Harry takes Smitty to a parrot whore house, gives him a hundred bucks, and Smitty goes upstairs with a hot-looking parrot whore.  
After a few minutes, Harry hears really loud screeching and squawking, so he runs upstairs and into the room.  There's Smitty, holding down the whore parrot and yanking out her colorful feathers.
"Harry, says Smitty, what the hell are you doing?"
Smitty says, "For a hundred bucks I want her nude!"

White Gerbil Brown Gerbil

Q: What's the difference between a white gerbil and a brown gerbil?
A: The white one got away.