Turtle Recall

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."

Warren!

Q: What do you call an elephant with a rabbit up it's sweater?
A: Warren!

Dog Checkup

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved, and he followed her everywhere. One morning she woke up, went to the bathroom, came out, and realized that her dog wasn't at her feet. She found him in his bed ''sleeping''. She called his name, but he didn't get up. So she took him to the vet and told the vet that her dog wouldn't wake up. So he looked at her dog and said, ''Your dog is dead.'' She asked the doctor to perform another test to be sure. The doctor went into another room, and came back with a cage. In it there was a cat. He let the cat out, and she walked around the dog, sniffed, and went back in her cage. The doc put the cat back in the other room. He came out and said again, ''Your dog is dead.'' She was like ''Ok, how much do I owe you?'' The doctor said ''$300'' She said, ''What!?!? How could it cost that much??'' He said ''$15 for me to say he was dead. Then $285 for the cat scan.''