How Dogs and Women are Alike

• Both look stupid in hats.
• Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.
• Both tend to have "hip" problems.
• Neither understand football.
• Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say.
• Neither believe that silence is golden.
• Both constantly want back rubs.
• Neither can balance a checkbook.
• You can never tell what either of them is thinking.
• Both put too much value on kissing.
  
  How women are better than dogs:
  
• It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman.
• Women look good in sweaters.

Faster than a Cheetah

Q: What's faster than a cheetah?
A: A Jew with a coupon!

Tarzan

Didn't you like those old shows, like 'Tarzan'? Remember 'Tarzan'? The story about a white guy who grew up in a predominantly black neighborhood?