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Alcohol Jokes - Beer Jokes
Irish Wish
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it, and out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The Irishman thinks awhile, finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty." With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes. The Irishman says, "I want two more of these."
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Clinton Strikes Again
The Secret Service got a real scare the other day when someone threw a beer at Bill Clinton during his morning jog.
Fortunately, it was a draft, so he was able to dodge it.
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The Wedding Is Off...No On
All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride's father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry. "The weddin's off," he shouted, "Everybody bugger off!" Dismayed and muttering, the guests repaired to the parking lot, grumbling about their missed opportunity for free beer. One guest, a friend of the bride's father, held back, and approached him. "What's the problem?" he asked. "Someone stole a keg of beer, and some bastard fucked the bride!", exclaimed the father. The guest, taken aback, and rendered speechless, left the church, joining the other farmers. A few minutes later, the father reappeared and yelled "All right! Everyone back inside! The weddin's on again!" As the farmers filed back into the church, the friend again approached the father of the bride, and asked "What happened to make you change your mind?" Grinning sheepishly, he replied, "Oh, well, we... uh... we found the keg of beer."
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