Ten Reasons It's great to Be An American

1. You can have a woman president without electing her
2. You can spell "colour" wrong and get away with it
3. You can call Budweiser beer
4. You can be a crook and still be president...in fact, if you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything
5. If you can breathe you can get a gun
6. You can invent a new public holiday every year
7. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
8. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"
9. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth.
10. You can get a pizza within minutes of ordering.

Newt Coming Out

One gay man says to the other, did you hear Newt Gingrich is coming out?" "Really?" the second gay man says, "that's amazing!" The first gay man says, "yeah we're lucky, he's only coming out of Congress, would you wanna sleep with him?"

Bush And Bill

Q: Why was there so much confusion with the Secret Service after George W. Bush took over the White House?
A: Because President Bill Clinton's code name was also "Mr. Bush."