Railway HandCar

A tramp finds a hole in a field and throws in a stone to see how deep it is. He doesn’t hear anything, so he drops down something larger – an old railway handcar. As he does so a ram appears and starts charging toward him. At the last moment the man leaps to one side and the ram plummets down the hole. Later the tramp meets the farmer who owns the field and tells him that the hole is dangerous. “I know,” replies the farmer. “That’s why I put a big ram in the field – to scare away the children.” “Really?” says the tramp. “But what would happen if the ram wandered off?” “Oh, it can’t do that,” replies the farmer. “I tied it to an old railway handcar.”

How Many Cops to Arrest a Mexican?

Q: How many cops does it take to arrest a Mexican?
A: Eight. One to carry him, the rest to carry his oranges!

Mexican Acronym

A cowboy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks for a shot. Across the bar, a Mexican man is sitting and glaring at the cowboy. The cowboy takes the shot and slams the shot glass down on the counter, yelling, "TGIF!" The Mexican orders a shot, takes it, and slams his glass down, yelling, "SPIT!" The cowboy looks over at him and notices the Mexican guy is still staring at him. The cowboy once again orders a shot, slams it down, and yells again "TGIF!" Once again, the Mexican orders a shot, slams it down after consuming it, and yells out, "SPIT!" This goes on for a while, and the bartender stands puzzled and annoyed. Finally, the bartender asks the cowboy, "Just checking, but do you know what TGIF means?" and the cowboy replies, "Hell ya I know what it means, 'Thank God It's Friday!'" The bartender asks the Mexican guy, "Okay, so what does 'SPIT' mean?" and the Mexican replies, "Stupid Pendejo It's Thursday!"