Old Never Dies

Old academics never die, they just lose their faculties.
Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance
Old accounts never die, they are deleted
Old actors never die, they just drop a part
Old alcholics/drug users never die, they just get wasted
Old anthropologists never die, they just become history
Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver
Old architects never die, they just lose their structure
Old assets never die, they just depreciate
Old astronauts never die, they just go to another world
Old atoms never die, they just decay
Old bankers never die, they just lose interest
Old bankers never die, they just want to be a loan
Old baseball players never die, they just go batty
Old baseball players never die, they just run their last lap

Scooby Doobie Boobies!

A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He tells her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your breasts and say, 'Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies.'" She did this every day faithfully and after several months, it worked! She grew great boobs! One morning she was running late and she was on the bus when she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. At this point she loved her new boobs and didn't want to lose them, so she got up right in the middle of the bus and said, "Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies!" A guy sitting nearby asked her, "Do you go to Dr. Smith by any chance?" "Why, yes, I do. How did you know?" "Hickory dickory dock"!

Guru And Novocaine

Q: Why did the guru refuse Novocaine when he went to his dentist?
A: He wanted to transcend dental medication.