Old Librarians Again

Old Librarians never die, they just check out.

Farmer's Pig Pen

An old farmer and his wife had a bunch of pigs, and every morning the farmer would head out to feed them. And every morning, he would see all the pigs screwing up a storm. He would get turned on by this and try to get back to the house in time to screw his wife -- but he always got soft before he got there. So one day, he took his hatchet and headed out to the pig pen. "No!" said his wife. "Don't kill those pigs!" "I'm not going to kill them. I'm moving the pen closer to the house."

One Liners - Business

• Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you.
• Just when you get going, someone injects a dose of reality with a large needle.
• Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it anymore.
• Just when you think you've won the rat race, along come faster rats.
• Knowledge based on external evidence is unreliable.
• Laziness is the mother of nine inventions out of ten.
• Leakproof seals will.
• Learn to be sincere. Even if you have to fake it.
• Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
• Leftover nuts never match leftover bolts.