Harry Butt

There was once was a blonde woman who had just bought a house. She called it Harrybutt. She had a child and named in Crack. She lost Crack and couldn't find him. So she called the police and said, "I looked all over my Harrybutt and couldn't find my Crack!"

Programmer's Wife

A programmers wife asks him to run to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.
He returns with 12 loaves of bread.

New Lumberjack

A lumberjack new to the job had trouble meeting his quota. He worked as hard as he could, but still he could only chop down two or three trees in a day. His supervisor noticed this, and asked what was wrong. Maybe his chainsaw was broken. The supervisor turned it on, but it was working fine. The lumberjack looked incredibly startled and asked, "What's that noise?"