Throwing Away Garbage

An American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage from his recent stay at an apartment. After a long search, he just couldn't find any place to discard of it. So, he just went down one of the side streets to dump it there. Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer, who said, "Hey you, what are you doing?" "I have to throw this away," replied the tourist. "You can't throw it away here. Look, follow me," the policeman offered. The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the cop, "dump all the garbage you want." The American shrugs, opens up the large bags of garbage, and dumps them right on the flowers." Thanks for giving me a place to dump this stuff. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?" asked the tourist. "No. This is the American Embassy."

Spooky Love

There is an old colonial cemetery where the grave markers are flat.  A man and woman sneak in there one night after a Halloween party to make love.  The next day the woman is complaining of a terrible back ache, so she goes to see her doctor.  The doctor asks her to put on a gown and examines her back but finds nothing wrong.  He asks her how old she is, and she says 28.  The doctor says that's interesting because it says on your ass that you died in 1784.

FIling Taxes

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that." The woman, "Okay, I'm a prostitute." "No, that is still too crude. Try again." They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."