Thanks For the Balls

A New York lawyer sent gifts to many of his clients.The gifts were sleeves of golf balls, suitably inscribed with the donor lawyer's name.One of the recipients sent an e-mail of thanks back to the lawyer saying, "That's the first time I've ever had a lawyer buy the balls."

Dental Discount

The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Smith made it clear he wanted the lowest possible price. "No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with." "I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?" Mr. Smith turned to his wife and said, "Show him, honey."

Officer Termination

An officer was fired for smoking weed and masturbating on the job.
No exact details were given to the public, but word has it that he was a high wanking officer.