An Honest Lawyer

An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young lawyers.  "As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?"  "Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my dad lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."  "Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"  He squirmed in his seat and admitted, "My dad sued me for the money."

Farm Therapy

A farmer strolls over to visit his neighbor, and finds him dancing, naked, in the barn in front of the farm equipment.
The farmer gasps, "Whoa! What are you doing?!"
His neighbor replies, "Well, me and the wife haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately, and our therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor."

Naive Young Girl to Doctor

A naive young girl goes into the doctor's office. She says, "Doc, I'm getting married and I'm a little inexperienced, so I'd like to ask you a few questions." He says, "All right." She says, "All right... what is that thing that hangs between my fiancé's legs?" The doctor says, "That's the penis. The male organ, the penis." She says, "Okay. And what is that big red knob at the end?" The doctor says, "That's the glans. The head of the penis, the glans." She says, "Okay. And what are those two round things, about twelve inches behind the head?" The doctor says, "Well, lady, I don't know about your fiancé, but on me, they're the cheeks of my ass."