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Word Play Jokes - Private Parts
The Five Thousand Dollar Cow
Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that says, "Cow For Sale...$5000." He pulls in and says to the farmer, "There's no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars." The farmer says, "Oh, yeah? Take a look at this." He lifts the cow's tail, and Harry sees the cow has a snatch just like a woman. Harry gets back in the car, turns to his wife, and says, "It's just not fair. Here's this farmer with a cow with a snatch like a woman, and it's worth $5000, and here I am, with you, with a snatch like a cow, and you're not worth shit."
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Alligator Bet
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink." The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A gay guy timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
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Spinster's Wishes
The old spinster was rocking on her front porch with her tomcat at her feet, when a good fairy suddenly appeared before her and offered her three wishes.
"Aw, go on," the little old lady said in disbelief, "if you can grant three wishes, let's see you turn this rocking chair into a pile of gold?"
The good fairy waved her hand, and "pouf", the rocking chair turned into a pile of pure gold. Her face lighting up, the lady said "I really get two more wishes?"
"Yes", the good fairy assured her. "Anything your heart desires."
"Then make me into a beautiful, voluptuous young woman." Another wave of her hand, and the wish was granted."
Finally, make my faithful old cat into a tall, dark and handsome young man."
The good fairy waved her hand and disappeared as the third wish came true, and a handsome muscular young man stood where the tomcat had just been sleeping. The young man approached the once-old lady, took her in his arms and murmured... "Now, aren't you sorry you sent me to the vet?"
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