Ireland Radio Contest

A Cork, Ireland radio station was holding an on-air contest to see who could come up with the best word not in a dictionary that would still make sense in a sentence. One of the first callers used the word G-O-A-N, pronounced "go-an." "Okay, caller. How would you use this in a sentence?" "Go-an. Goan fuck yerself!" Concerned about it being a family show, the DJ quickly hung up on the man. After fielding a bunch more unsuccessful calls, another caller calls up with the word S-M-E-E, pronounced "smee." "Okay, caller. How would you use this in a sentence?" "Smee again. Goan fuck yerself!"

Hostile Happy Hour

Q: What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar?
A: He got bombed.

No Strings Attached

A young woman stops into her local pharmacy to pick a supply of tampons for herself. She goes to the aisle where they are located and sees they are priced at five boxes for one dollar. Thinking this is a misprint; she finds a clerk and asks if this can possibly be the correct price. The clerk replies, "Yes it is the correct price. For one week only, you can purchase five boxes of tampons for one dollar, no strings attached."