Mexican Card Games

Q: Why can't Mexicans play Uno?
A: They always steal the green cards.

Chilled Salad

Q: What did the salad say to the fridge?
A: Shut the door, I'm dressing!

Skin Tight

A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to an extremely gorgeous woman. The first thing he notices about her though, are her pants. They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism (zipper, buttons or velcro) for opening them. After several minutes of puzzling over how she got the pants up over her hips, he finally worked up the nerve to ask her. "Excuse me miss, but how do you get into your pants?" "Well," she replied, "you can start by buying me a drink."