Solution

A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.
Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?
Dentist: Wear a brown tie!

New Year Disease

A woman calls her boss after a wild New Year's party and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well. ‘What’s the matter?’ he asks. ‘I have a case of anal glaucoma,’ she says in a weak voice. ‘What the heck is anal glaucoma?’ ‘I can’t see my butt coming into work today’.

Cucumber & Pickle

A cucumber and a pickle were having a conversation. The pickle said to the cucumber, "I got it bad man, every time I get big, fat and juicy I get seasoned and put in a jar." The cucumber said to the pickle, "Well every time I get big, fat and juicy I get chopped up and out over salad." The penis walks by and overhears them and says, "I got it worse than you both. When I get big, fat and juicy I get put in a dark, smelly room and they make me do push-ups till I throw up."