Cashew Fetish

I have a friend whose fetish is cashews. 
He's fucking nuts.

Alaskan Hooker

Q: What is a hooker in Alaska called?
A: A frostitute!

What Tax?

This kid walks into the pharmacy: "I've a hot date tonight, a sure thing, and my buddies said you could fix me up for it." "What do you want?" "Well, it's a hot date, man. A sure thing? You know..." "What do you want?" "I need some protection, alright??" "What size?" "Size? I dunno... Whatever is considered average I guess." "That'll be $2.35 including tax." "Tacks?! Tacks?! I thought they stayed on by themselves!"