Unlucky Three

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey, the beach, and Witch?
A: A turkey sand-witch.

Stupid People

• Not the brightest crayon in the box
• Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
• Not the funniest clown in the circus
• Not the fastest horse in the race
• Not the sharpest tool in the shed
• Not the brightest star in the sky
• Not the most likely Vice Presidential candidate

Permission

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect hunting and riding trip. Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a brand new ATV, tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire. "Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?" I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. She had handcuffs and ropes on the bed! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, "now, you can do what ever you want."
So I stopped at Bass Pro Shop, picked up a new Arctic Cat 700 and here I am.