Cows at Church

Q: Why did the cows go to church?
A: They heard there was a new pasture!

Condescending

People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.

Dog Breed Calculations

Malamute x Pointer = Moot Point, favorites of lawyers but ... it doesn't seem to matter.
Bull Terrier x Shitzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed.
Pointer x Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.
Kerry Blue Terrier x Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries.
Great Pyrenees x Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed.
Pekingnese x Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog.
Irish Water Spaniel x English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle.
Labrador Retriever x Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists.
Newfoundland x Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors.
Terrier x Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes.
Bloodhound x Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly.
Collie x Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work.
Deerhound x Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end.
Cocker Spaniel x Rottweiller = Cockrot, the perfect puppy for that philandering ex-husband.