George Lucas Duct Tape

Q: What do The Force and duct tape have in common?
A:  They both have a light side and a dark side, and they both hold the universe together.

Finals Prayer

Now I lay me down to study, I pray the Lord I won't go nutty. If I should fail to learn this junk, I pray the Lord I will not flunk. But if I do, don't pity me at all, just lay my bones in the study hall. Tell my prof I did my best, then pile my books upon my chest. Now I lay me down to rest and pray I'll pass tomorrow's test. If I should die before I wake, that's one less test I'll have to take.

Prostitute and Nymph

Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige. . . I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."