Women Are Like Rocks

Women are like rocks. They're only cool after they get wet.

Man and His Giraffe

A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start having a few quiet drinks. As the night goes on, they get pretty drunk. The giraffe finally passes out near the pool tables and the man decides to go home. As the man is leaving, he's approached by the barman who says, "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lyin' here, are ya?" "Hmph," says the man, "that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

Perscription

The doctor told me that a six inch pill would cure all my ailments.
I found that hard to swallow.