My Aunt

Joe says to Bill, "Want to see a picture of my Aunt?" Bill said,
"Sure." So Joe takes out a picture. Bill says,
"What are you talking about? That's not your aunt! That's a picture of a fish!" Joe says,
"Well sure it is... It's my aunt Chovy!"

Get Me An Ambulance

A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help. "Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!"
"Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!"

Dyslexia Agony

After Daylight Saving Time ended, I stopped to visit my dyslexic friend.  He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You idiot! You're supposed to turn your clock back!"