My Girl's Birthday

Sven was out shopping in the mall when he met his friend Ole outside the Jewelry Store. Ole noticed that Sven had a small gift-wrapped box in his hand. "Vhat have you just purchased Sven?" Ole asks. "Vell, now that you've asked," replies Sven, "It's my Lena's birthday tomorrow and vhen I asked her this morning vhat she vanted for her birthday, Lena said, 'Oh, I dun know, dear, yust give me something with vots of diamonds.' "So vhat did you get her?" Ole asks. Sven smirks and says, "I bought her a deck of cards."

Finger Food

Q: Do zombies eat Halloween candy with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers later.

Female Guitar Player

Consider the following:
Female guitar player shouting at her boyfriend in a crowded shopping mall: "Don't forget, sweetheart, I need a new G string!"