What Tax?

This kid walks into the pharmacy: "I've a hot date tonight, a sure thing, and my buddies said you could fix me up for it." "What do you want?" "Well, it's a hot date, man. A sure thing? You know..." "What do you want?" "I need some protection, alright??" "What size?" "Size? I dunno... Whatever is considered average I guess." "That'll be $2.35 including tax." "Tacks?! Tacks?! I thought they stayed on by themselves!"

Lightbulb - Polacks

Q: How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light bulb.
A: 10. One to hold the lightbulb and 9 to spin the ladder around.

Never Again

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."