Herd of Cattle

Q: Why is it called a 'herd' of cattle?
A: Well, have you 'heard' the sound they make?

Bar Jump

A man walks into a bar and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. His curiosity gets the best of him so he asks the bartender what the deal was.  "Anyone who can jump up and slap the meat earns free drinks for the rest of the night.", the bartender answered. "But, if you miss you pay everyone else's drinks for the next hour. Would you like to try?"
The man thought about it for a moment, and then answered, "Nah, the stakes are too high."

Sissy

A young boy came home from school and told his mother, "I had a big fight with Sidney. He called me a sissy." "What did you do?" the mother asked. "I hit him with my purse!"