Fault and Symptoms of Drinking

Symptom: Drinking fails to satisfy and the front of your shirt is wet.
Fault: Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to wrong part of face.
Symptom: Feet cold and wet.
Fault: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
Symptom: Feet warm and wet.
Fault: Improper bladder control.
Symptom: Floor blurred.
Fault: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
Symptom: Floor moving.
Fault: You are being carried out.
Symptom: Everyone looks hideous.
Fault: Either you haven't had enough to drink, or they've flipped on the lights for last call.

3 Blonde Jokes

Q: Want to hear three blonde jokes?
A: Listen to Hanson!

Curious George

Q: What did the man in the big yellow hat have to do every day when Curious George broke a glass or a plate?
A: Spank his monkey.