Answering Machine - Color Shirt

Please leave your name, phone number, the time you called, and your favorite color of shirts. We'll get back to you if we like the color. 

Change my Number

The phone rings, woman answers. A pervert, with heavy breathing, says, "I bet you have a tight ass with no hair."
Woman replies, "Yes I do, he's watching golf, who shall I say is calling?"

President's Answering Machine

The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.