Mike Tyson Opponent

In this corner Evander "the Real Meal" Holyfield!

Too Much Wrestling

• You wonder why singers Sting, Wolf Blitzer, and Bryan Adams stole wrestlers' names.
• You only come out of your room if your theme music is playing.
• When your boss is pissing you off you kick him and give him a stunner.
• You always end a speech with, ''That's the bottom line 'cuz John said so!'' or ''If you smellllll what John is cooking!''
• Your new wardrobe consists of more multi-colored bicep tassles, tights, and capes.
• If there's one beer left you suggest it should be suspended from the ceiling and the winner has to climb a stepladder to get it.
• Whenever you see someone lying on the floor you get the urge to put him in the sharpshooter.

Four Big Ten Alumni

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day. Each was from a different Big Ten school and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their Alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Boilermaker hurled himself off the mountain, shouting, "This is for Purdue!" as he fell to his doom.
Not wanting to be out done, the Wildcat threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for Northwestern!" Seeing this, the Buckeye walked over and shouted, "This is for everyone!!!" and pushed the Wolverine off the side of the mountain.