Four Worst Words

Q: What are the four worst words you could hear during a round of golf?
A: It's still your turn!

Priest and Nun Golfing

One day a priest and a nun went golfing. The first hole the priest missed an extremely easy putt. He shouted, "Damn, missed again." The nun, shocked, warned him, "God will get you for that." The next hole the same thing occurred. After the priest screamed "Damn It! Missed again" the nun repeated her warning, "God will get you for that!" On the third hole, the priest again missed, and cursed, but before the nun could repeat her warning, a bolt of lightning came down from the heavens and struck the nun dead. A deep voice from the clouds boomed out "Damn It! Missed again!"

Golfing Definitions

Amateur golfer:  Someone who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging and once again after swinging.
Oxymoron: An easy par three.
A Hack: when your divot flies further than your ball.
Bad Golfer: Someone who can take strokes off his game only with an eraser.
Duffer: The only guy in the world who has an unplayable lie when he tees up.
Mexican Hat Dance: Lots of spike marks around the hole.
In Jail: Deep in the trees with no shot out.
Worm Burner: a shot going a long way on the ground.