Golfing Definitions

Amateur golfer:  Someone who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging and once again after swinging.
Oxymoron: An easy par three.
A Hack: when your divot flies further than your ball.
Bad Golfer: Someone who can take strokes off his game only with an eraser.
Duffer: The only guy in the world who has an unplayable lie when he tees up.
Mexican Hat Dance: Lots of spike marks around the hole.
In Jail: Deep in the trees with no shot out.
Worm Burner: a shot going a long way on the ground.

Greg Norman's Lovers

Q: Why do women like making love to Greg Norman, the Australian golfer?
A: Because he always finishes second!

Golf and Buttercups

A man was playing a game of golf. On hole 16, he hit the ball right into a field of buttercups. As honest a golfer as he normally was, he picked up the ball and laid it next to the flowerbed to avoid destroying the beautiful buttercups. A fairy came down and said "thank you for not disturbing my buttercups. For that, I shall make sure that you always have a full supply of butter." "Thank you," the golfer replied, "but where were you last week when I hit the ball into the pussywillows?"