Won't Like It

While golfing, I accidentally overturned my golf cart.
A very attractive golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay thanks," I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.
She said, "Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later."
I noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure. "That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "But I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on now," she insisted. She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive. I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed, "But I'm sure my wife won't like it."
After a couple of Scotch and waters, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
I replied, "Still under the cart, I guess"....

Four Worst Words

Q: What are the four worst words you could hear during a round of golf?
A: It's still your turn!

Priest and Nun Golfing

One day a priest and a nun went golfing. The first hole the priest missed an extremely easy putt. He shouted, "Damn, missed again." The nun, shocked, warned him, "God will get you for that." The next hole the same thing occurred. After the priest screamed "Damn It! Missed again" the nun repeated her warning, "God will get you for that!" On the third hole, the priest again missed, and cursed, but before the nun could repeat her warning, a bolt of lightning came down from the heavens and struck the nun dead. A deep voice from the clouds boomed out "Damn It! Missed again!"