Elephant Tennis

Q: What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?
A: Annette!

The Two Hunters

Two hunters were hunting one day when one hunter fainted. The other hunter didn't know what to do, so he called 911. When the operator answered the hunter told them that his hunting partner was dead.
The operator said, "Calm down, and make sure your partner is dead."
All of a sudden there was a gunshot. The hunter got back on the phone and said, "Okay, he's dead for sure."

Golf Leprechaun

One day, a man was golfing when he hit his ball into the woods. When he went to retrieve it, he found that it had hit a small man in green tights. "I'm so sorry!" the man said. "Don't worry about it. Anyway, you caught me. I'm a leprechaun and you have managed to stop me. You get three wishes." "Oh, no, I don't want the wishes. Just as long as you're okay." The leprechaun thought the man was so nice he decided to grant three wishes for him. He gave him unlimited money, terrific health, and a great sex life. The man came back to the golf course the next year and recognized that same leprechaun.
"How're you doing?" asked the leprechaun. "Oh, terrific. Every time I stick my hand in my pocket a 100 dollar bill comes out and I've eaten nothing but Snickers bars for a year and I'm at my ideal weight and can run a mile faster than anyone." "How's your sex life?" asked the leprechaun. "Fantastic! I'm up to twice a week now!" "Twice a week? Why so little? I gave you a great sex life wish!" "Hey, it's not bad for a priest!"