Soccer Players

Hey babe, soccer players know eleven positions! High five!

Married Football Player

Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married?

A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.

Drunk Alaskan Ice Fishing

A drunk guy in Alaska decides to go ice fishing. He starts sawing a hole in the ice, when a loud booming voice says, "You will find no fish there." The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on. The voice booms again, "You will find no fish under the ice." The drunk looks up and says, "God, is that you?" The voice says, "No, I'm the manager of this ice rink."