High Stakes

A man with an average handicap decides to play a round of golf one day. He heads to the starters' area where he is paired with a woman. ''Damn, a woman," he says. "This is going to be horrible.'' As he approaches her, he finds that she is very beautiful and figures this might not be a bad day after all. They head out to the first hole. The man looks to his partner, and says, "If I hole this putt, would you consider going out to dinner with me tonight?" She agrees, so he lines it up, swings, and sinks it. They play a couple more holes and approach the ninth. Both are lying 3 on this long par 5 and again the man looks up to the woman before his putt. "If I hole this putt, will you kiss me goodbye after the date?" She says yes and he sinks the 10 footer for birdie. They approach the 17th and both are lying 2 on the par 4 hole. He looks up again. "Will you consider coming up to my apartment if I hole this put right here?" She says yes and he lines up the short 3-footer and right down the middle it goes. On the 18th, the woman is lying 3, about 40 feet from the hole. She looks to the man and says, "If I sink this putt, you have to screw me silly all night." The man says yes so she lines up her putt, takes a back-swing and.... "Wait, wait, wait!" the man says. "Pick it up, it's a gimme."

The Fishing Spot

One day Bob and Bubba went fishing. They were catching a lot of fish so they wanted to figure out how to remember this part if the lake. Bob said, ''I know. I can spit in the water!''
But Bubba said, ''No! How will we know it's your spit?'' They thought and thought and finally Bob said, '' I know. We can draw an 'X' right here on the side of the boat!'' But Bubba said ''No, no, Bob. That won't work! How will we know that we get the same boat next time?''

Brooke Gordon's Sunday Morning

Q: What does Brooke Gordon do when she gets done shaving her pussy on a Sunday morning?
A: Slaps aftershave on it and throw it in a race car.